Boost Your Body from Inside, Then Get Dressed!

The most beautiful clothes in the world eventually come off in the places where we can be most free. How can you be happy in your perfect fit Birthday Suit?

In my first Q and A for Hearst’s realbeauty.com, The Dame Lays it Down…

question

I have a hard time enjoying sex because I’m so worried about what my body looks like. What can I do to feel less self-conscious?

My number one antidote is to tap into your “turn on” and get to self-pleasuring. Start with a full-length mirror to view your body, crank up some hot dance music, and tell your reflection what a total hottie she is (seriously, do it!)

Read the rest of my answer here. And comment.comment, comment. Show Hearst some of that Dame Lori love!

or see the lively discussion that popped up when Yahoo’s Shine picked up my answer here:

Shine on Sisters!

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Filed under Holy Health Habits...How outrageous is your well being?, Uncategorized

james mathers artist. ritualized

This week, The Ritualizer astral travels and grounds in the rituals that are the essence of artist and philosopher, James Mathers.

James is the real deal, an articulate, sensitive, differentiated independent and realized creative, mastered in many mediums. He continues to playfully enjoy counter culture and petri dish commercialism.  He is both misunderstood and enjoyed by many.

I first met James about a year before his first one man show in New York, a full page ‘non paid’ profile in Warhol’s Interview Magazine which was followed up by the famous ‘Roses Lime Juice’ ad. ((google it))

Here is a tasting of some of rituals that James shared with me:

MY MORNING! WAKE UP! RITUAL

Well,  wherever I am when I wake up, which could be anywhere, I look for something broken or chipped or cracked or incomplete because that’s a sign.

Then I find my gratitude.

MY TRAVEL RITUAL

For me the challenge is to stay in my body and not out of it so my travel ritual is to sense and feel my feet or one foot.

Children seem to do this instinctively, so with practice – observation and many crayons to paper, this ritual is now illustrated with suggested directive guidance in my book so anyone of any age can practice this ritual.

MY INSPIRED RITUAL

Always happens when making contact and connection while putting the crayon to paper.
This takes me back to when I was a kid and did this very complicated drawing of a boat.
My mother put the picture of the boat on the refrigerator and I was instantly famous. This was my first taste of notoriety and I’ve had a crayon in my pocket ever since.

MY NATURE RITUAL

My nature ritual involves running water, whether it’s a river, stream or non specific muck running down the sewer.
First, I go to the downside, I speak to the spirit, and say thank you for everything I have ever lost from my teeth, my art, my love, my time, my youth and then I go to the upstream side of the stream and I say thank you for everything that is coming and welcome, often the same things that I have lost in addition to a few wonderful surprises that may come and my own inevitable annihilation.

This way I feel myself as a window or a membrane and this to me feels very empowering.

MY GIVING RITUAL

My giving ritual is that when I give, I immediately forget that I have given anything to anybody and loose track utterly of that account. Therefore, my giving ritual is also my forgetting ritual.

Court Artisan Tip: Perhaps you may already astral travel and not know that, this is what you are/have been doing. James’s graphic novel will provide step by step directives that are supported with clear and playfull illustrations. Expect some adventure, discovery and welcome the un-ravel to access big mind and your higher self by way of astral travel.

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Rx: Ritualizer.

A Peek into the private and public rituals of extraordinary ordinary people.

Like Proust’s questionnaire, “The Ritualizer Nine” are nine questions put to extraordinary ordinary people to reveal our habits, pleasures, pathologies and silliness as insight to character, connections to each other and human evolution itself.

Access The shine. Access the Love. Prescription: Ritualizer

Court Artisan: Kelly Lebwith

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Filed under Spiritual Solvents...In our quest for higher conscious, what sticks to the ribs and heart.

Newbie Seductresses: Lovingyou.com is Loving The Dame

What if you are new to this whole seduction game and nervous…what advice is there for Newbie Seductresses?

Writer Melissa Chapman asked just that recently of Dame Lori for the site lovingyou.com.

The best kind of seductress is the newbie,” says Dame Lori, a pleasure expert who has studied with the world’s experts and worked with thousands of men and women, teaching them to express themselves with sex and seduction. “Newbie seductresses possess the innocence of a newborn learning to walk and how adorable is that? You can’t help but giggle at the stumbles, the fumbles, the grasping and oh, yeah, the falls!

According to Dame Lori, the more you approve of and enjoy that shy, virginal, vulnerable, blushing and terrified part of you… the hotter, sexier, cuter and more precious you will be to your man.

“I am not a fan of ‘getting over’ anything in life, I have found it to be more pleasurable when I am in agreement with my shyness and embarrassment,” says Dame Lori. “Celebrate your adorable shyness and the awkwardness of blushing. It will lead the way to having more fun.”

Dame Lori also notes that although seduction is always seen as doing something sexual or naughty, for the most part during the day, it is neither. In fact Dame Lori says she uses it as a serious communication tool all day long  to engage with others.

and just what are these tips?

for more see the whole thing, click here: lovingyou.com

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Filed under Ecstatic Pleasure Sensations...Finding the marvelous in the mundane for meaning in a minute.

A Tango Bride

A Soul Style Star Is Born – And The Dame Was the Doula!

Dr. Christiane Northrup & her tango partner, Jim Carter."Flirting is the key to my tango success!"

On June 18, 2010, with tears in my eyes, I watched my precious friend, Dr. Christiane Northrup, dance tango with her partner, Jim Carter. It was the graduation weekend of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts Mastery Program, and Christiane had divinely risen to a challenge proposed by Mama herself–the queen of pleasurable offers, Regena Thomashauer.

It had taken nine months to create and deliver this breathtaking experience, and I was inspired throughout the process by my beautiful soul sisters, Kirsten Lewis, aka Kiki La Musette, and Sandra Chiu, both of whom are extraordinary dancers, lovers, and muses. It all began with the finding of the corset, a gorgeous black silk La Cadolle, recommended by my friend, Margaret Shrum, a lingerie expert. This find led to a corset fitting party at La Journelle, the best lingerie store in NYC, with Christiane’s daughter, Kate Northrup, as the model–a perfect fit, of course! So I insisted Christiane purchase this exquisite piece as a “Legacy Investment” to pass on to both of her daughters (Kate, and Ann Moller). Then there was a second fitting, this time with Christiane herself–assisted by Brianna and Mara, expert cinchers–where we discovered that my secondhand black satin skirt from my City Opera Thrift Shop was just right, and another expert recommended that we add a red silk satin ruffle to the bottom of the skirt that would peek out in the motions of the tango. What ecstatic joy it was to capture this stroke of genius and take it to my world-class Dynasty Tailors to execute the embellishment. Right before the ensemble was finished, Christiane said she felt like a Bride Married to Amazement in this ritual of the wardrobe creation in honor of the incredible sensual journey she has been on in her life. So, back to the tailor I went, to conjure a red satin garter belt for the bride and a matching tie for Jim! Let’s not forget the Wolford back-seamed stockings, the red French feathered hair ornament I created, and the professional hair and makeup artist–all serving the Divine Doctor in her penthouse suite at the Royalton Hotel. We even had expert cincher Mara on-hand, who laced Christiane in while her dearest friends and family read poems and praised the bride to be as she prepared to step into her elegant satin tango shoes, into the limo, and onto the stage at the Pennsylvania Hotel, never to be the same again. And neither were we . . .

Thank you, Christiane, for stepping up to the challenge to show the world your newfound lust for tango, your passion for living and owning your beauty, and your hot, throbbing desire to love. The Dame knights you for surrendering to Soul Style a la Tango Fever. I await Tango Challenge 2011, but until then, I am surrendering to your newly revised Bible of blissed out health by my bedside.

Love, The Dame

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Filed under Courting Soul Style...Deception, inception, inspiration for the simple sophisticate seeking Soul.

Red Dress, Red Dress

When I was l6, living in Brooklyn and attending Erasmus Hall High School, alma mater of both Barbara Stanwyck and Barbra Streisand, my Sweet Sixteen Party was held at a Chinese restaurant in Manhattan – hey, every Jewish girl in the neighborhood had her sweet sixteen at a Chinese restaurant – that was the cool thing to do. At any rate, something interesting happened there: they gave me a Chinese robe to wear for the night.

You can see me in the red kimono in the picture with my parents. Fast forward to today, where I own at least 10 of these Chinese coats, being obsessed with antique Chinese clothes. Of all the many things I own – varied and numerous as they are – the Chinese are my favorite. The embroidery, the quality of the silk, the vivid colors, the vibrancy, the feel, the peonies: these do me in and I swoon.

When I first saw Hou Hsiao-hsien’s film, Flowers of Shanghai I nearly fell out of my seat. I wanted them to stop every frame so I could examine the costumes more closely – both the men and women were gorgeous.

It’s all I want to wear.

Court Artisan: Tziporah Salamon

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Filed under Courting Soul Style...Deception, inception, inspiration for the simple sophisticate seeking Soul.

The Other Big O

When I mean “big”, I mean profound, earth shattering, mind-boggling; love after initial contact, desperation if you fear you may only encounter it once, willing to spend for it… You get the picture.

The O in mention is Olio Lusso, the beauty elixir extraordinaire created by the fabulous divina, famed stylist, former model, Linda Rodin.  This product is life changing.  I have always fantasized about doing my beauty regime with one bottle that does it all.  The Olio Lusso Face oil is as close as I’ve ever come to realizing this dream.  As a true believer of less-is-more, Olio Lusso is a blend of eleven rare and exotic essential oils into a brew that creates the most supple, glowing, hydrated and loved looking skin ever.  Us lucky followers are thrilled that there’s an Olio Lusso blend for the face and also one for the body (since we were using the face oil for both – oh precious little drops…) with a hair oil – oh joy – coming in September.  A few drops of this heavenly-scented witches brew will make you think twice about what you put on your body.

And if Ms. Rodin is any example of what it can do, I’d like this auto-shipped forever.

Linda Rodin

Court Artisan: Michelle Barge

Image Credit: Keirnan Monaghan

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Filed under Courting Soul Style...Deception, inception, inspiration for the simple sophisticate seeking Soul.

Lucy Raubertas: I Confess! I am a Ritualizer!


This week, The Ritualizer probes the rituals of the really lovely Lucy Raubertas of the lush and informative blog, Indie Perfumes, “Perfume and desideratum in Brooklyn.” You just have to be the definition of lovely to write passionately and originally about indie perfumes. Lucy is like a modern fairy in a hip, literary-sexy, Euro-Brooklyn babe’s body. Here are some of her rituals:

MY MORNING! WAKE UP! RITUAL

As soon as I wake up, Dante, my Italian Greyhound comes over and wags around happy to be alive, so the custom has been well established that he is to be petted as much as he wants first thing in the morning.

MY TRAVEL RITUAL

After reading up on whatever favorite artist or writer I know of from that region, I try to map out walks ahead of time, if possible finding some scene from the stories or paintings such as those at Rubin Museum in New York, where I recently went to “The Smell of Ecstasy.

MY INSPIRED RITUAL

Music always gets me inspired, I let the particular kind just arise out of the vast array and grab me.

MY NATURE RITUAL

Every morning I go to the window and I look out at the sky and let the quality of the light and the weather fill my eyes. I can then feel what the day will be like, though not what will happen, more like figuring out what the day’s internal theme will be.

MY GIVING RITUAL

I carry a number of perfume samples with me so when there is a moment and I know I have something truly wonderful on me that I think would appeal to them, I break them out to share. Jasmine is my current love, especially because new scientific study has found it as effective as Valium.

Court Artisan Tip: (For some really marvelous indie perfumes, try Babalu Miami.)

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Rx: Ritualizer.

A Peek into the private and public rituals of extraordinary ordinary people.

Like Proust’s questionnaire, “The Ritualizer Nine” are nine questions put to extraordinary ordinary people to reveal our habits, pleasures, pathologies and silliness as insight to character, connections to each other and human evolution itself.

Access The shine. Access the Love. Prescription: Ritualizer

Court Artisan: Jade Dressler

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Filed under Ecstatic Pleasure Sensations...Finding the marvelous in the mundane for meaning in a minute.